Fear is this emotion that causes soo many issues in our lives. It disrupts our sleep, stops us from doing the things we enjoy doing, stops us from taking the next steps in any goal…. It Stops Us From Living! Really Living!

So, why am I putting this in a series about removing Masks?

Because Fear causes us to Put On Masks. All the Freaking Time! There are so many… however the one I want to talk about today is the Mask of the Survivor when facing Uncertainty.

Mask of the Survivor says things like:

I am Ok. (while in the middle of a dumpster fire of a situation)
I have been through this before…. I will handle it again.
I have to stay inside where I feel secure.
I can’t go to that concert because there will be too many people there… What if something bad happens?
I must check the doors, windows and alarm to ensure all locked and secure. Every Night, sometimes (or all the time) Several times a night to feel safe enough to try to sleep.
I can’t go out by myself. I won’t feel secure. What if I am followed or worse?
I can’t ask for help because no one has ever listened before… why would they now?
If I advocate for myself, what if I shut down because they won’t listen or make changes? What if I get targeted because I stood up for myself?
The list can go on and on and on…. (All of these are literal personal experiences I have felt and thought. Not just using general statements here. You can insert others you have experienced or heard before too)

Why does the Mask make us feel like this?

Oh that one is easy…. If WE control the outcome… WE Know Exactly What To Expect.. There is No Unknown, No Uncertainty! So, WE control the environment, so WE give ourself the illusion of security.

Doesn’t matter if the issue that caused the Fear in the first place is a specific type of trauma or pattern of toxic behaviors. Once we are in the Need to put on that Mask… We ARE A Survivor and go through these thoughts (or similar)…. Part of the healing process is to slowly and safely begin to remove the Mask in small increments. Ones We Control and can feel ok in whatever the outcome.

Disclaimer:

Now, for ANY of this, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND finding a good Counselor who can aid in this. Having that Support is HUGE in the Healing Process…. Even though it can be terrifying trying to find one who is a good fit for us… and opening that can of worms…. IT IS HELPFUL IN SO MANY WAYS!!

Making a Solid Support System is Huge in ANY type of Healing. I know that isn’t something everyone has, so we have to go out and find it… And Yes, that seems extremely daunting at first. I know… Been there. Over and Over again. But It Is So Worth it! You Are So Worth It!!!!

Me and People like me, are here to help too. We Do Not Replace counselors by any means. I am here to Support the work done in Therapy and Counseling sessions. The techniques I teach help support and get us through the day to day. My Energy Healing is a Huge Help too. I will Never claim it will replace the Healing that a quality Counselor can facilitate… it Assists and Augments it. Me and People like me are great additions to your Support System.

Techniques you can use to help:

Grounding Yourself in the Moment that the Mask grips Tighter and Fear Looms…
Many counselors will have sour candies to help “shock” the system and get us focused on what we can taste along with other senses. So, find a way to focus on your senses in the moment to Remind Yourself that You are Not back where you were…. Because emotions can really make us feel like that… Find 3 to 5 things you can Taste, See, Hear, Feel, Smell… and breathe it all in. This helps us feel Present in our Body in the Now.

Go outside and touch something in Nature. A rock. A tree. Dig your toes into the dirt or grass. Smell the rain coming in. Feel the wind or breeze. May be more literal, but it does help.

I use my Mind to do Visuals and Story to Connect with Mother Earth too. I am allergic to just about anything green. So touching grass isn’t always for me. I learned to visualize Energetic Roots growing from my feet and reaching deep down into the Earth. Into the Core where there are a ton of really cool colored crystals… Lots of Colors and Energies to sense into. Then, I release all my burdens and fears into that “Cavern of Crystals” so Mother Earth can absorb them and change them into nourishing Energies She can send anywhere. I learned this before I could even “Channel Energy” or learned Reiki. So, please rest assured that ANYONE can learn and do this one… I wrote it out on paper for me to read at first because I couldn’t remember all the steps when I got frazzled. That helped too honestly.

Trying New Things

Did you know that trying new things can actually help us rewire our brains and heal? Trying new hobbies (this can include learning new recipes, making things with your hands, art, etc…), going new places and even just doing things you normally do, in a New way…

Now, I am not an advocate for exposure therapy type techniques… I have seen that do more harm than good when dealing with phobias and other issues. So, I will never tell anyone to directly face their fear or what is causing the ‘Mask to tighten it’s grip’.

Trying new things that are ‘adjacent’ but not directly tied to the fear can help a lot. Build up confidence and that sense of security within us. Have an issue with going somewhere by yourself? Then perhaps asking a friend to go with you can help you feel at ease. It isn’t needing protection, perse. It is more like Body Doubling. Feeling better and able to do the thing with the Support of someone nearby. There IS NO Shame in needing that!!! Those of us with ADHD also need a Body Double often just to get chores or projects worked on… there are apps that help link us up with someone to Body Double just for that too. It is Possible that can help you try something new too.

Adding More Magick into this:

Create a Small Ritual Just For You. Design it to fit Your Life and Your schedule. Anything to help You Feel Secure and able to Shed that Fear.

Rituals can include Candles, Incense, Crystals, Herbs, Music, and literally anything else you can think of… I will always advocate for using what you have on hand. (unless you want to buy a tool or cool crystal) Think about what makes you feel good when around it? Create an Intention for your Ritual. Intentions are the Purpose of it. What we say when we are performing the Ritual and telling the Universe “This Is What I Want To Change!”.
The Grounding earlier in the article is an example of a Ritual. All of those ideas for Grounding are to be honest. Rituals can be as simple or elaborate as we feel the need.

Here is another idea for a Ritual:
30 minutes to and hour of your time.
Find some meditative music on your fav streaming app that you enjoy or fits the vibe for what you want.
Rosemary (Clarity and more) placed around a Candle (your fav color or whatever you have on hand) all in a fire safe dish or on some foil for easy clean up. A ring of table salt (Protection and more) around the candle and rosemary. Light the candle. State your Intention. It can be as simple as: “I Light this candle to help burn away the fog of fear and bring me much needed Clarity!” Breathe and relax with the music. You can sit, laydown, stand, sway, even dance… Whatever feels right for you in the moment. Trust Your Intuition here. You can repeat the intention over and over if you feel the need to keep focusing on it. That can help when the mind wanders off. (totally normal thing to happen)
When your time is up, you can blow out the candle and keep it to use again for the same Ritual. Or, if the candle has gone out, feel free to throw away the one-time use items. (not your fire safe dish if you used one).

If you only have 10 minutes, you can still do this… Just make sure you Breathe and Focus so you get the max benefits!

Why is Clarity Helpful when dealing with this type of Mask?

Fear is Loud and Obnoxious. It is insidious and makes us feel like we are back in the situation where the fear began in the first place… It gets our attention and tries to make sure that is the ONLY thing you focus on. Fear brings in feelings that are Chaotic to our systems so we Feel Uncertain, Scared and Small. A Ritual to help us Gain Clarity will remove the Energies and Feelings of Chaos that surround the fear and help you see it Clearly… it is really a small frail thing that honks loudly so you are the one afraid…. See the graphic below:

**I commissioned the images of Fear from the Amazing Abby from Actually Owltistic. You can find her work over at: https://actuallyowltistic.com/

Once we realize the fear isn’t actually a real threat, we can go do what we wanted to do. Without that fear hijacking our system, our mind and our sense of Peace. We can tell it to Fuck Off. It helps us gain or re-gain our Balance so we make clearer decisions.

****now this is of course for situations where we feel fear, are in flashbacks (emotional, mental, etc…) not for areas where we are actually in physical danger…. That needs a totally different kind of help where police or other professionals can intervene.

I hope this helps you. Many of these have helped me over the years. I do offer more in-depth Rituals and Energy Healing along with Coaching to further aid my people in healing. Find more info at https://healingcraftcoaching.com/link-in-bio or see the link below my picture.

I Love You. I Support You.

Always Remember,
You Are Loved,
You Are Valid,
You Are Accepted.

Love,

Interested in adding Coaching and/or Energy Healing to help you?

Go to: https://healingcraftcoaching.com/services