I Love Doctor Who. One of my favorite Doctors was Number 10, David Tennent. (I know he has been on the show more, but at the time of this writing, I am not caught up on the Series yet) I also adored him as Crowley in Good Omens. He is a fantastic actor. Where am I going with this? Well, I had put off seeing the Marvel show Jessica Jones all because David Tennent plays a despicable major villain. I didn’t want that role to distort how I saw him in the other shows…

We do this ALL the time with people. We ONLY want to see them in the way that we learned to see them. So, when they change and grow (as we ALL do, it is a part of LIFE after all) we tend to dismiss the changes and see only who we want to see. It is “more comfortable” for us then to make the mind work on getting to know a whole new version of them.

When we do this, we miss out on a whole lot! We deprive ourselves of Real Connection. When WE change, we want others to accept us in our newness. So why do we do this to other people????

Change is a Normal Part of Life!

There are So Many Reasons for these moments of growth that we WANT to celebrate and want our loved ones to celebrate WITH US! Other Reasons will have us needing support, time and Compassion.

Some of these include:

Breaking Free from a toxic or abusive relationship,
Getting Sober,
Transitioning,
Coming out as any form of LGBTQIA2S,
Realizing they are Neurodivergent (maybe even being diagnosed),
Being open about their Spirituality (or different faith/no faith) when you thought it was something else… or Changing their Belief System from that something else,
Creating Healthy Boundaries and Maintaining them,
Getting Married or even Divorced,
Having Kids,
Losing a Loved One to illness, trauma, etc….
Get Counseling/Therapy/Etc… to Heal and Change,
Surviving any kind of trauma,
Becoming homeless and even finding a place after periods of homelessness,
Finding a place where you are Accepted and feel like You Belong,
(this list is just a few examples of moments that shape us… There are an many reason and all of them are VALID!)

All of these Change us in many massive ways!!! They alter who we are and how we perceive and move through the world. We become New People after such Life Altering events. So many people hear, “You Changed”, “Oh you think you are better than us now?”, “Why are you so different?”, “Just go back to who you were….”, “Stop pretending”, “You just want attention”, “So? Everyone goes through crap, you’re no different.” All as ways to Dismiss the growth and shifts that have occurred in Our Reality. It is Invalidating, Dismissive, and just plain Unacceptable.

I have gone through many moments where I have shed Complete Identities of myself. There have also been times when it seemed like small outward shifts, yet my entire internal world was in massive upheaval. All have helped me learn to be True to Myself and discern who I can be Me with, and who I cannot.

It hurts a lot when people have such a distorted view of who we are. It hurts when the people we love won’t support who we have become (or are becoming). It is so very difficult; however, we Need to Find Our People. Those Who DO Accept Us. The Chosen Family/Friend Groups are sometimes more loving and accepting than who we leave behind. And this is unfortunately pretty Common.

Regenerations and Rebirths,

In the show, Doctor Who, regenerates and changes EVERYTHING. Their Face, Gender, Personality, Etc… They go about showing their Heart and helping wherever they can… We don’t often regenerate outwardly. We may look the exact same as we did before the changes happened. We are vastly different and yet appear as though nothing has changed. And those who do have massive change on the outside, STILL deal with the old perceptions others had of them.

We deserve to be Known and Accepted as the Multi-Faceted Person we are! Those who are unwilling to see or accept the shifts are depriving themselves of getting to know a new version of us. That deprives us all of Real Connections!

Going back to the actor I was talking about in the beginning of these thoughts… I LOVED him in Jessica Jones. His character made me uncomfortable and I despised Killgore. David Tennent was very clever and played this role rather Brilliantly.

I Value Real Connections. I Strive to build them. I Strive to help others remove their distortions and develop an Authentic Sense of Self. I Love to help people become Comfortable in accepting change and Being Exactly Who and How They Want to Be!

Self-Awareness Combined With Self-Compassion are the Beginning!

I Love You. I Support You.

Always Remember,
You Are Loved,
You Are Valid,
You Are Accepted.

Love,

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