Who Am I When I Stop Doing It All?
Most of us have been there…
Exhausted but pushing through to finish the ‘Thing’. Working long hours and/or several jobs just to pay the bills. Studying while working to be able to get that promotion or better job. All while keeping the home/apartment & vehicle clean and maintained. Doing the Self Care, working out to try to burn off stress and get healthy. Cook, eat AND clean up afterwards. Care for a pet. Care for the kiddos and keep them healthy and fed while maintaining everything else… Oh and don’t forget the Never Ending loads of laundry and dishes….
Throw on top of it all any illness, sudden hiccups of any equipment breaking, job loss, accidents, crazy events that cause Stress and Panic…. The list goes on…
UGH Does it Ever End???
It is Super Easy to become Overwhelmed with it all. We try to keep up with everything because we are taught that if we don’t… No One is coming to help us. We see stuff like, “Just Do It!” and “Go For It!”, “Live Your Passion!”, “Don’t Quit!” All the Freaking Time!
Let’s face it, our society wants Productive Members. They want us to be able to do it all. Buy it all. Face it all. Without Support. Without our Village. We get told we gotta pull ourselves up by the bootstraps from a young age. Our parents and grandparents had it hard, so should we… Cuz why should we get any “handouts?” (AKA Appropriate Support) When they didn’t?
Yes, I am speaking in general terms here… Not everyone had it super rough. Yet a LOT of people did and still do.
Where am I going with this?
We wear our burnout like a badge of honor. It is super weird. There is So Much Pressure put on us, every single day! We end up feeling like a failure all the freaking time. YET WE ARE NOT!!!!
How the fuck are we supposed to LIVE, CREATE, THRIVE in this kind of Environment???
The answer is Not a simple one…. It is a series of Things to Try… Yes.. On Top of Everything Else we are Doing…. Yet, it Helps make room for us to LIVE…
We feel like we have multiple arms like the “Monster” in the graphic above. All of them are doing the things we Need to Be Doing… All of them are past the point of exhaustion and yet we are Handed More Things to Be Doing! UGH! Life felt like this for me Every Freaking Day. I wasn’t sleeping because the constant To-Do list was always on my mind. Even with the Hubby and Kiddo’s help.
What did I do to turn it around?
I decided to show myself Compassion! That was hard at first. Not Gonna Lie. Not everything will always get done... And That Is Ok!!!
Ask for help from people you love, those around you… even from services (if you can afford them) I asked my Hubby and Kiddos for Help! That was SUPER HARD. I was not one to ever ask for help. The kids have dedicated chores now. Yes, we still have to remind them often… but, it helps reduce my load. (not everyone can do this. I know. I am giving personal examples to help you get ideas too) Hubby does what he can when he is home too, to be fair, he did beforehand as well. I just needed a different kind of help from him, more reassurance and comfort. Asking for help is hard, but Oh So Worth it!
Schedule Breaks! Every day allow yourself a few minutes for your own recess! Even if it is a Stretch and Dance Break. Or a listen to Music and Breathe Break. Or Step Outside and soak up some Sun Break. Give Yourself What You Need in these moments. Shake it off and then do what you need/want to do. These need to be set as a Priority! A, no bullshit, I am gonna give myself this break for 5, 10 or 20 minutes! (Whatever you set for yourself. Please be flexible here too.)
Every day, for 5 to 10 minutes as I am drinking coffee to wake up (or right after I get the kiddos onto the school bus) I take a few breaths. Intentionally Connect to my Body and Spirit and write down everything that comes to mind at all. (I tell myself I am connecting to my Heart, Body and Spirit so I may receive Insight… that’s it! Yes it CAN be that easy if we allow it to be) Even write any nonsense syllables. It helps clear out the clutter in my mind and give the stressed parts of me an outlet to “speak”.
Then I ask myself, “Where is my Energy and Focus Best Needed Today?” Then I write everything that comes to mind down on paper.
Look at your list. Some things are dependent on timing…. So we need to account for those. Some are things we just really want to do, but are not really time specific and can be broken up into chunks over a couple of days… Like, I REALLY want to paint and Draw… But I also need to work on articles and videos too. Prioritize the things that are More Important to You for that day!!! Add the fun things in too!
Give Yourself scheduled time off!!! This allows you to Play! Have Fun! Work on the Fun Things!!! Even if this is 30 minutes at a time… Please do this for yourself! This is different than a Break! This is You Making You a Priority! Today, I scheduled in a hot bath with meditative music.
Intentionally ONLY Scroll on the socials and TV for Short Bursts!!! (unless you are watching a fav show or movie here for fun) This is one of the Largest Creators of Stress we have! So much of our World and even Local areas seem like a raging dumpster fire… So Much Drama! So Much Chaos!! Why in the world would you Want to add in all that to your Already Overwhelmed Nervous System??? I get it, we want to stay informed. However, we ALSO need to Prioritize our own Sense of Peace too! This is Super Duper Important, especially right now. All that noise, hatred, drama, news and propaganda will drag us down into feeling completely helpless and hopeless. Find sources that are Legit and only stick to those in short bursts. When you do scroll, Hope Quest! Look for the nuggets of good news, silly stuff, Light Hearted! This balances out the Yuck. Do Not Doom Scroll!!! (when you catch yourself doom scrolling, stop yourself and shift to the next thing on your list. Give Yourself Compassion!!! It happens to Everyone!)
Where Our Focus Goes, So Too Does Our Power!!!
Our Energy IS Our Power! Our Imagination Is Our Power! Our Capacity to do the things we need to do, IS Our Power! Everything that drains that Power from us, needs to go! This is Where all the Prioritizing comes into play. Focus On You and what YOU Are Responsible For and Let Go of everything else.
Now, this all seems like a LOT. I get it. It took me many tries at getting this right for me. Play around with it and fit it INTO your day. Small and Consistent Efforts Lead to BIG CHANGES! Everything written out like this makes it seem harder and more effort than it really is. It took waaaayyy longer to write all this, then it did to take these steps today. (I even had to give myself a small recess break as writing this felt really heavy for me… I put myself into the energies of what I write so I may help you better relate.)
But Where is the Magick…? You are a Spiritual Witchy Person after all….
Ok, I am a huge advocate of making our Magick Fit Into Our Lives! Not add to our Stress. Managing our Energy is a HUGE Way to Control and Focus our Power! That Power IS OUR Magick! Want more tips on Managing your Energy that are more Spiritual and Magickally focused? Here is a FREE Course With Energy Healing and Practical ways to Cleanse and Clear! Get it Here: https://healingcraftcoaching.app.clientclub.net/courses/offers/5e25c177-be9c-4d22-beb9-9855dc506611
One of the biggest takeaways from this article… Please, Please, Please give yourself Compassion when some things don’t get done or finished when you think it should be… We are Way harder on ourselves than anyone else. Your Worth IS NOT tied to your productivity!
In fact, make this a mantra you repeat once a day...
MY WORTH IS NOT TIED TO MY PRODUCTIVITY!!! I AM WORTHY AND LOVED AS I AM!!!!!!!
So, to answer the question in the title… Who Am I when I am not doing it all…
We Are:
Someone of Worth!
Someone of Value!
Someone who is Amazing!
Someone who is Loved!
Someone who is Magickal!
Someone who is Divine!
Even when we don’t realize these statements yet. Even when we don’t make it through our to-do list… Even on days we are ill. Even when we Do get it all done…. The bold statements above are still True!
I want to let you know that I did all of this while also going to counseling. Everything I teach is to help Support and Augment our Mental Health Support (NOT REPLACE IT!). I am a huge advocate of finding a counselor and/or therapist who is a good fit for us. Same goes with any medication. Fun Fact… ok not so fun… I am AuDHD, have PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Chronic illnesses, Chronic Fatigue, Retired Army Veteran, Biz Owner, Mom to 2 kiddos (one also AuDHD), mom to a doggo and some cats, and married to a Retired Army Veteran. Everything I write and teach about are things I have gone through and am going through.
I Love You. I Support You.
Always Remember,
You Are Loved,
You Are Valid,
You Are Accepted.
Love,
Interested in adding Coaching and/or Energy Healing to help you?
